I was listening to the radio the other day and I heard a song by my girl Jennifer Hudson called, “No one gonna love you” and I’ve got to tell you at first, it sounds a little stalkerish. Some of the lyrics are:

I don’t mind you putting up a little bit of fight, it’s alright.
But why run from what’s gonna hold you tight.

Send me straight to voice mail
Baby I’m just gonna text you

Huh? Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this song and I LOVE Jennifer Hudson- I just think that it’s pretty

interesting that the lyrics clearly say one thing, however the melody and of course her amazing voice are a welcomed distraction from the messed up stuff she’s saying! The song is so smooth that it has you singing and humming along to each and every word as if it’s the gospel truth! It’s what inspired this blog post. If you really listen to the lyrics it’s pretty obvious that my girl has it bad for someone. Is it really normal to pursue someone who may not want to be pursued?

Is there a difference between being delusional in love and being determined to be loved?

I’m big on definitions so I decided to look up the true meaning of delusion.

Delusion- Defined as a false belief or opinion; Psychiatry meaning- a fixed false belief that is resistant to reason or confrontation with actual fact.

From that definition, I can tell you without any doubt that I have clearly been delusional in past relationships. In fact, it is my belief that anyone who has ever said, I can “change” him or I can “make” her love me is delusional. Sometimes when we want what we want it’s easy to forego common sense and all of those red flags that let us know that we are acting out of character and a bit irrational. My belief is that love, true love can and will make anyone delusional at times. It’s when you can’t identify your delusion from reality where the problems begin. Example, but of course!

Have you ever called your partner more than once in a short period of time as if he/she wouldn’t get one of the several messages that you left? We all (most of us) have done it and I personally think its fine as long as you realize that you are tripping! It’s when it hits you, “hey, I need to call a friend or someone who cares cause leaving another message for this person who obviously doesn’t want to talk to me right now is not cool” that you can make a conscious decision to just STOP IT! I’ve got no problem with that at all.

Now let’s take that same scenario and go a different direction. Instead of forcing yourself to stop calling and leaving messages you decide, “I’m just going to drive over there to see why he/she isn’t picking up the phone”. To me, that is clearly crossing over the line of rational thinking but to some this may be simply taking initiative or being determined to not be ignored. This brings me to my next point. What the heck is the difference between being determined and being delusional? According to the true definition of determination, the answer may surprise you.

Determination- a judicial decision settling and ending a controversy; the resolving of a question by argument or reasoning or firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end.

I couldn’t have picked a better scenario. Clearly the person who takes initiative and chooses to jump in their car to find out just what is keeping them from being able to reach their significant other by phone is showing determination. Almost makes it more acceptable to be delusional, huh? So why is it that when we hear lyrics such as those in JHud’s song that we think it’s a bit over the top? It just sounds like that sister is determined to hold on to what is hers and she isn’t delusional in the slightest, unless of course the object of her affection has clearly let her know that he is NOT interested- but that’s a whole different video and song!

It just goes to show that there is a very thin line between being delusional or crazy in love and being determined not to lose your love. This at least makes me feel a little bit better about singing along to:

But why run from what’s gonna hold you tight
Through any complications, baby, maybe we can start tonight.

Now granted, in relationships there can be too much determination as well as too much delusional behavior but I think that for the most part if you are in a relationship with someone who loves you and respects you then, “putting up a little bit of fight is alright”! Don’t you think?

So, rate yourself- are you a little delusional in your relationship or just determined?