Category Archives: Couples Corner

Is your BF more like your GF?

I am guilty of it. I constantly refer to my husband as my best friend and you know what, he is! I tell him just about everything and I would like to think that he tells me just about everything. So, who are you sharing that other information with? I know that for me, it’s typically my girlfriends or my sisters but NOT my hubby! Hey, a girl needs her secrets and so does a man, and let’s face it there are just some things you should not tell your significant other even if you could, don’t you agree?

It’s funny because my husband and I are truly divided on this topic. He believes that I should tell him everything and that he should tell me everything (even though I know he doesn’t and that’s cool). I on the other hand think that it is important at times to have someone who you can better relate with to share certain things. Examples, of course!

Things to share with your GF not your BF

Gossip
My sister always says to me that she can’t stand a man who gossips like a woman! It cracks me up every time she says it but you know what, she’s right! Now, I like to gossip like the next chick but one thing that I have to say that I really need work on is to NOT do it with my husband. I really need to stop for two reasons: 1) He really doesn’t care about what I’m talking about so he usually tunes me out or just smiles and says “yes dear”. 2) I would absolutely cringe if he were ever to come back to me with “child, did you hear about Beyonce’…?” Doubtful that it would happen but I don’t want to take any chances.

Feminine Issues
Okay, this is a touchy subject so I will not elaborate much. Anything dealing with what happens to a woman regarding reproduction, menstruation or hormones should not be discussed with your man. He couldn’t begin to understand or care. That’s what your girls are for. My husband thinks that PMS is something that I made up to get chocolate and eat McDonald’s cheeseburgers- I have real cravings for them, I swear!

Your Girlfriends
I’m telling you that you are setting yourself up for failure with this one! Men were born without filters and will embarrass you. When you talk to your man about your girlfriends and how they may have pissed you off, he will check them for you whether you want him to or not. Or at the very least ask you (when she leaves, if you’re lucky) why you continue to hang around her if you really don’t like her, seriously? You see, men don’t understand that woman are catty; most of the time what we are saying is based on our emotions at that time. We don’t really mean it, duh! Your girls however, understand this and know how to keep their mouths shut and pay you no mind when you’re going off about your friend because tomorrow you will be thick as thieves all over again!

Things to share with your BF not your GF

Relationship
Let me clarify this a bit for you. You can share with your girlfriends the light- hearted, “fluffy” details of your relationship (i.e. my man bought me a bouquet of flowers) but they really aren’t the best source for any intimate details of your relationship. I have a policy with my girls, what I don’t tell you about is not for you to know, so don’t ask me and I won’t ask you. As a matter of fact, I have been known to stop my girls mid-sentence if I feel like they are about to divulge something that I just really don’t want to know. Really, you should be speaking with your partner about those types of issues. You will be amazed at how being open and honest about how you feel can really strengthen a relationship. But if you just can’t talk to your man about your relationship, I suggest that you speak with a professional (shrink or therapist), your mother (if you have that kind of relationship) or your sister (again, if you have that kind of relationship). Trust me, it’s safer that way!

Insecurities
Again, let me preface this with saying that certain things really do not need to be shared with anyone but I do feel that in a real relationship you can share these types of issues with your partner. If they are decent, they will not hold this information to be used against you in a negative manner at a later date but that is where trust and respect come into play. Your girls don’t ever, ever, ever need to know where to find your Achilles heel. Never let ‘em see you sweat, as a matter of fact never let ‘em KNOW you sweat!

Finances
I LIVE by this rule! Have you ever had a friend that you went out with on a regular basis that was always BROKE? Guess what, they’re not broke, they just know how much you make and like to help you spend your money! I bet they never told you how much they make and I bet you never asked. There’s a reason for that; you’re being played like a fiddle! My motto for my girls is ‘if we aren’t going dutch then we aren’t going out!’ Ladies, you have no business buying bottles for your girls! That’s what their man is for! Keep your money for those cute shoes that you saw, your girl sure is!

Bottom line is that it’s okay to share things with your man but not everything. It’s just the design of the relationship between a man and a woman. If he was suppose to know EVERYTHING then God would have made him a woman!

Do you tell your man everything? If not, what are your reasons? I’d love to hear your feedback!